Today the science convention was on and I went to go and check it out. It was a new experiment which involves a beam that comes out of two generators. The scientists warned us not to get so close because the beam was radioactive.
Little did I know that above my head was crimson red spider which I had no clue it was there! Then all of a sudden the ruby red spider dropped from it's web onto my bony wrist. My heart was pounding with fear! The crimson vicious spider looked up to my glasses and moved a few steps with it's ruby red legs. The shock that went to my spine was indescribable! It went and looked down at my clenched wrist. I was so scared what was it going to do with me!?
The creepy looking arachnid got into a position were it looked like it was going to bite me! It looked down at my hand then it got its venomous fangs out and sunk them into my skinny wrist! As it attempted to run off I tried to step on it but it was to fast!!
I was in so much pain!! What was I going to do!? I had no transport of getting home!! I was in to much pain to get home!! Radioactive Blood was trickling down my bony hand!! Could I be facing death...
The radioactive toxins ran down my blood stream, then I lost control of my body and I was shaking! I gripped my hand with fear as I tried to make my way to the door, but my vision became a big blur and my legs went to jelly. It must have been the bite's reaction.
I...need...to get...home...what...am... I...going to do?
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We thought this story was pack full of great vocab! We liked the idea of... it was in the position were it looked like it was going to bite me!
ReplyDeleteWell done
From Maisie-May and Faith-Olivia
Hi Isaac and Ellie,Fantastic writing I really enjoyed reading it;) I love the second paragraph
ReplyDeleteit's excellant I rate this ***** 5 stars!
From your friend Kate :')
Hi! That story was amazing I liked your vocabulary! I don't think I would like to be bitten by that spider but it would be cool to be spider woman.
From your friend laura
I like the smaller details in your writing, for example describing Peter's wrist as, "my bony wrist". It makes it seem very real to me as a reader. Well done.
ReplyDeleteIt was so realistic. What a sophisticated use of words and images. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI am a student from the University of South Alabama and I was assigned to read your post. I am very impressed with your writing. It gave me chills when I was reading about the spider and I felt like I was really there. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteIsaac and Ellie,
ReplyDeleteI am studying at the University of South Alabama and read your post as part of a class assignment in Dr. Strange's Educational Media class. As a future English teacher, your work is very impressive. All of the descriptors you use are incredibly detailed, and definitely supply your readers with plenty of suspense and shock. The line "The crimson vicious spider looked up to my glasses and moved a few steps with it's ruby red legs" is absolutely spectacular. Keep up this good work, you have a gift.